A loss for words

I've been wondering what to post here. It's only proper Netiquette, in my view, to follow up on my last blog post; I couldn't brush off a reply anymore than I could refuse to answer a sympathy card. I just am not clear about what to say.

I can and will thank everyone for their prayers and good wishes. Somehow, I feel there are many unseen hands strung all over the world for me, like invisible prayer flags. So comforting.

Beyond that, the news is uncertain. My father is in a skilled care facility (read: nursing home), where he will receive physical therapy to see how much mobility can be restored to him. At any moment, but no later than the next three weeks, he will need to be moved...somewhere. He will need care, and my mother can no longer help him by herself at home. His care may suck up every vestige of their combined savings, which would leave mother in the lurch for the rest of her life. It is not clear how long he will live. With skilled care, he could live another year or two. Or his heart could fail tonight.

I'm flying home to do what I can. My main goal is to say goodbye to my father.

Needless to say, most of my planned reading has screeched to a halt. I did find a book that provides some solace: Living without Regret.

I also find a measure of comfort in reading about how other people overcame difficulties in their lives: Isak Dinesen's bio by Judith Thurman and Maxim Gorky's memoir about his childhood are good company in this respect.

Thanks again, dear readers, for your thoughts. My life is teeter-tottering right now, but at some point it will tip upright and steady again. Words seem useless bits of flotsam right now, torn paper tossed into a wind.